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Take this quiz to help you think about how healthy your relationship is.

My partner:

Seems to like me as a person.

Hates me talking to other guys/girls.

Respects my feelings, opinions and beliefs.

Doesn’t want me to spend time with my friends or family.

Is OK if I say no to something (including sex).

Makes me feel like I need to watch what I do and say.

Is happy for me to make my own decisions about my life.

Puts me down or humiliates me when we are alone or in public.

Tries to work out arrangements by compromising or talking.

Tries to control my life, checking up where I am and who I’m with.

Encourages me to pursue my own interests.

Sometimes scares or hurts me by being aggressive or violent.

Is happy for me to see my own friends if I want to.

Might try to hurt me or him/herself if I wanted to break up.

Makes me feel good about myself.

Makes me feel scared to disagree, or to say no to things.

Lets me feel free to be myself.

Makes me feel scared or guilty if I try to end the relationship.

If you find yourself ticking the boxes in BOLD, then the chances are you’re in a healthy relationship. If you find yourself ticking the other boxes, then you might want to reflect on whether this relationship is the right one for you.

Border Women’s Aid believes that all people deserve respect, and that all our intimate relationships should be founded on RESPECT because relationships can’t work without it.

What does it mean to have a respectful relationship ... with your friends, family, boyfriend or girlfriend?

Respect is about understanding that other people are different to you and accepting that others have the right to do and say what they want as long as nobody else is harmed.

When there is respect in a relationship, both people feel free to be themselves.

RESPECT is a two-way street. In a healthy relationship, you feel respected, but you must also give respect. The feeling is mutual.

Thanks for listening tae me, a no yous are the only ones that dae

I’m honestly starting to see things differently … it’s a valuable service you provide

I feel more in control and hopeful because of BWA support

A huge weight lifted off my shoulders when I contacted BWA

I thought domestic abuse happened to other people but I realise now that abuse can happen to anyone

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