• You may or may not want to leave your partner but would like some advice on how to cope or reduce the abuse.
• There is no concrete evidence, so you don't think its domestic abuse.
• You don't want to leave your partner but you'd like them to change the way they behave towards you.
• You still love your partner.
• Your children don't want you to split up.
• You think no one will believe you anyway.
• You think you'll lose everything if you leave – your home, security, friends etc.
• You're frightened to leave – they have threatened to kill you or themselves.
• Your pets have been threatened and you can't take them with you.
• You don't drive and live in a rural area – it would be very difficult to leave.
• Perhaps you feel that because they are your partner, you must accept their behaviour.
• Your partner may have died or moved into residential care and you feel relieved but guilty and need someone to talk to.
• When you got married it was for life. Perhaps in the past you were told that you'd 'made your bed and had to lie in it'.
• Perhaps you rely on them to care for you – or perhaps you don't feel you can leave because they need you to care for them.
• You are not to blame for what's happening – regardless of what the abuser may tell you.

Please remember:

• You do not deserve to be abused and you have the right to live without fear.
• You have the right to have a safe, healthy relationship and control over your own life.
• You can't control the abuser's behaviour and the abuse is likely to get worse over time.