What is Domestic Abuse?

The Scottish Government defines domestic abuse as follows:

“Domestic abuse (as gender-based abuse) can be perpetrated by partners or ex-partners and can include physical abuse (assault and physical attack involving a range of behaviour), sexual abuse (acts which degrade and humiliate women and are perpetrated against their will, including rape) and mental and emotional abuse (such as threats, verbal abuse, racial abuse, withholding money and other types of controlling behaviour such as isolation from family and friends).”

Domestic abuse can take many forms but below are the most common

Physical abuse includes- Hitting, slapping, burning, kicking, strangulation, using a weapon such as a knife, all types of physical attacks, starvation.

Sexual abuse can include- Rape, enforced engagement in pornography, prostitution, enforced pregnancy, sexual humiliation, enforced sexual acts, withdrawal of contraception.

Mental and emotional abuse can include –Threats, you are made to feel worthless, called names, being isolated from friends and family, denied food, sleep and medical attention and not allowed to make choices or go out etc.

The abuser can be:

a partner or ex-partner
male or female.

The people who experience domestic abuse can be:

male or female (including same sex relationships);
not necessarily living with the abuser;
of any age, including elderly people (those aged under 16 are victims of child abuse and social services should be contacted);
of any race or religion;
children or young people, even if they don't witness it, they live with it.

Domestic abuse can happen in any home involving people of any age profession, nationality or religion. Domestic abuse is rarely an isolated incident but a way of controlling behaviour. The abuse may worsen over time, is often serious and, in some cases, fatal. No one wants or deserves to be abused.

Alcohol, drugs, unemployment, stress at work, poverty, you or your children's behaviour, poor housing, health problems etc are used as excuses for the perpetrator's behaviour - they are not the cause of domestic abuse. Some men feel powerless or inadequate in some way and to make themselves feel better they hurt, intimidate or control someone who is weaker than them.

A man who uses violence or abuse to make himself feel better is unlikely to change, however much he promises to without intensive, long term therapy. In fact the violence is likely to increase in frequency and seriousness the longer he gets away with it.

Key Facts:

One in five women in Scotland experiences domestic abuse at some stage in her life,
54% of cases reported to the police in 2007/08 involved repeat victimisation.
Women were the victims in 85% of the reported incidents of domestic abuse in 2007/08.
Women with limiting illness or disability are three times more likely to experience non-sexual family abuse than women who do not.
One in seven women experiences rape in marriage.
Up to 30% of men who assault their partners do so under the influence of alcohol.

In the Scottish Borders:

On average there are 68 domestic abuse incidents reported to police in the Scottish Borders every month.

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