We uphold the Scottish Government's definition of abuse:
"Domestic abuse (as gender-based abuse) can be perpetrated by partners or ex-partners and can include physical abuse (assault and physical attack involving a range of behaviour), sexual abuse (acts which degrade and humiliate women and are perpetrated against their will, including rape) and mental and emotional abuse (such as threats, verbal abuse, racial abuse, withholding money and other types of controlling behaviour such as isolation from family and friends)."
Statistically, the abuser is usually the man and the victims are the women and the children. However this is not always the case - domestic abuse can happen to anyone. At Border Women's Aid we work with women suffering from domestic abuse but other charities exist to help male victims.
It can happen in any home involving people of any age profession, nationality or religion. Domestic abuse is rarely an isolated incident but a way of controlling behaviour. The abuse may worsen over time, is often serious and, in some cases, fatal.
No one wants or deserves to be abused.
Alcohol, drugs, unemployment, stress at work, poverty, the woman's or the children's behaviour, poor housing, health problems etc. are used as excuses for the perpetrator's behaviour, they are not the cause of domestic abuse. Some men feel powerless or inadequate in some way and to make themselves feel better they hurt, intimidate or control someone who is weaker than them.
A man who uses violence or abuse to make himself feel better is unlikely to change, however much he promises to, without intensive, long term therapy. In fact the violence is likely to increase in frequency and seriousness the longer he gets away with it.
Key Facts:
It is estimated that between a quarter and a third of all women in Scotland experience abuse at some point in their lives.
In Scotland, in 2006, 87% of domestic abuse victims were female.
30% of domestic abuse starts in pregnancy and often escalates through the pregnancy and after birth.
Women are likely to experience an average of 35 assaults before seeking help.
In 2006 there were 659 incidents of domestic abuse reported to Police in the Scottish Borders.
Victims can be of any age - some are aged over 70 and have suffered domestic abuse for 50 years or more.